My experience with racism in Britain, as a mixed-race Filipino.

Photo by Meghna Lall

I was raised by a Filipina mother in the UK. In the 90s, she was a recent migrant to this country and settled in a predominately white small British town. She very much tried to assimilate me to fit in within British culture.

Early on, she experienced my primary school persuading her to not speak to me in her mother tongue anymore to help me develop a more British accent and learn English quicker. Kids sang racist songs to her as she picked me up and I recall once a woman in Tesco aggressively calling her a “stupid monkey”. Racism was normalized for me as a kid. It was just something I expected, since we were different and ‘not normal’ after all. I also now no longer remember my first language as a result of the school’s xenophobic advice.

Kids called my mother “chink” as she picked me up, mock her accent and throw rice at her car. I had a PE teacher nickname me ‘Hong Kong’ and kids would jump me after school and beat me up while mocking my accent. My accent is gone but the memories are still strong. Kids aren’t born racist. It’s their parents and society that teaches them to hate.

It’s only in hindsight I realize how damaging it was towards my racial identity and self-worth. It made me resent my Filipino-Asian heritage for a long time. I even asked my mother to stop putting rice in my lunchbox because I wanted to be more ‘normal’. One of the last links to her culture she had in this country was me and I threw it back in her face. In my mind, I was always scared people assume I’m a ‘poor’ Asian mixed-breed from a home built on a gold-digger mother and a lonely, desperate white man. The question that always follows “where are you from?” is usually “how did your parents meet?” and they always assume my mother is the Asian one.

Being asked “where are you from?” is something I’ve come to expect most times I meet someone new. As if it will determine how they treat me from that point on. Racism is ingrained in British society. A lot of stems of ideologies from the colonial days.

Hate crimes against ESEA (East and South-East Asians) have skyrocketed by 300% during the coronavirus crisis in the UK alone. Across America and Europe, many blame ESE Asians for the Covid outbreak. Many British people are now avoiding Asian businesses out of fear. I’m still not seeing enough of my British friends talk about it enough. To know I have friends who are British who value me as a person but don’t take the time to share about the hate crimes and racism towards my community in our own country makes me feel heartbroken, to be frank.

To have some of the same friends challenge me they don’t see much of an issue or that other people have it worse further illustrates the issues ingrained in British culture to find excuses to not value the lives of other races. To those non-Asians who think it’s an issue but they don’t want to read into it more or take any action because it’s emotionally overwhelming, please understand that being able to not be emotionally involved is such a privilege. For ESEA people, experiencing racism isn’t a choice.

Even as a half-Asian who’s arguably more white-passing than most ESEA people, I was stopped on the street at night recently. A drunk man was yelling aggressively at me “where the fuck are you from?” repeatedly and following me with a beer in his hand. When I questioned why is he asking, he just said while laughing and squaring up to me “I want to know if you ate the fucking bat or not”. I literally had to hold in so much anger and just carry on walking. He just kept yelling abuse at me as I walked away.

It’s common amongst many ESEA cultures to NOT go against the grain. To simply deal with your circumstance quietly and not complain about unfairness. It’s taken a global pandemic and many incidences of violence across the UK and the rest of the western world for Asian people to speak up about racism and it’s so heartbreaking to see British people not care.

It’s especially heartbreaking to see my own white friends not care when I tell them more Filipino healthcare workers have died within the NHS than in the Philippines to Covid-19 due to NHS managers taking advantage and putting more Filipino nurses in Covid-19 wards with inadequate PPE equipment because they know Filipinos aren’t going to complain out of fear of losing their working visa and that it’s not in their culture to disagree with their superiors. 1 in 4 deaths amongst healthcare workers in the UK were Filipino. Only 1.8% of the NHS is Filipino. One of those who made up that statistic was an old family friend. Even when I mention that my story alongside informative posts on this issue, still almost exclusively Asians are shared it.

If you’re not Asian and reading this, thinking “I’m fine, I’m not racist!”. Being not racist doesn’t stop more racism from occurring. The moment your actions become anti-racist, only then progression will happen.

How to help:

• Use your voice and speak up about these issues on your platforms.
• Share posts and stories about ESEA issues.
• If you are Asian, you can share your experiences and raise awareness — if you’re comfortable to do so.

Support @endracismvirus. They are trying to bring these issues to the forefront of British politics. They’ve made some incredible leaps in the last year. Following and sharing their work spreads awareness of issues.

British society was built on trying to colonize each corner of the world, often aggressively and causing so much damage — and now most British people barely know anything about our country’s past tyranny. The most adventurous some British get in learning about other cultures these days don’t stretch beyond a trip to Wagamamas. As a society, simply learning more about and respecting other cultures will help us to progress and end racial prejudice. Consuming more online content made by British and American Asians will give you more of an insight into their experiences.

British Asian creators/feeds I’d recommend following:

• @bamnbeyond is a great community hub that empowers the creative asian community.
• @besea.n showcases so much positivity among the British ESEA voices!
• @asiansinbritain interviews and shares the stories of so many British based Asians.
• @abritishasianstory creates illustrations of stories about living in between cultures.
• @foodwithmae is a Filipina chef that shares authentic and beautiful Filipino recipes.
• @dejashuu is a big inspiration of mine! She shares such an entertaining insight on Asian food and culture. Some of her work with the BBC on Asian issues has been inspiring to witness.
• @beseapoets showcases poetry from ESEA poets from the UK.
• @yellowbeepod is a wonderful podcast exploring culture, identity, and more!
• @itsvivyau is very vocal ESEA misrepresentation and hosts the incredible ‘But Where Are You From?’ podcast.

Ways you can better yourself if they apply to you:

• Educate yourself on how Asian cultures are inappropriately represented or have their culture’s aesthetics fetishized. Think maybe it’s degrading to the original culture to buy a sexy kimono or Chinese-inspired dress or get a tattoo in Chinese characters for no good reason other than you think it looks cool.
• Understand that many people find the word ‘oriental’ offensive. Try to avoid it.
• Learn the differences between ESEA cultures. Shocking fact: Japan and China have a LOT of differences.
• Stop reacting to our food like it’s weird or gross. Realize people around the world have different customs and tastes. The number of British friends who look at me strangely when they learn I have rice almost daily (yeah it’s true, get over it!). Asians don’t waltz into the UK and openly make fun of full English breakfasts. Understand that our cuisines are just as important to us as your Sunday roast dinner preferences.
• Stop talking AT us about our cultures with your experience of traveling/backpacking and how eye-opening it was to you to see poor people living so differently. It’s degrading knowing you paid £100s to use our culture as a life check and still don’t support ESEA issues.
• Understand that a typical British Chinese takeaway is not the same as Chinese food.
• Understand a countries politics doesn’t define its culture or people. You can have opinions on a countries politics but don’t think it’s then okay to look down on their people and their culture.
• Don’t assume Asian women who marry white men are gold diggers. As a mixed-race person, knowing you may consider my existence to be the offspring of a fake relationship by default makes me really not like you.
• If you as a non-Asian male, find Asian girls attractive because of their race, work on that issue, and STOP sexually fetishizing a race. Also, STOP approaching them and saying “Ni hao” or “Konichiwa”.
• Speak up when you see someone being racist.

You can hear more about my story facing racism on this film I made called ‘Being Half Asian’on YouTube.

Being Half Asian, on YouTube. Art by Leo V

Thank you to @bamnbeyond for inviting people to speak up about their experiences. I can’t say enough how their community has helped me and really validated a lot of the anxiety and pain I’ve experienced my entire life.

My mother and I, taken in 1998.